The Giraffe

A New Season

The Giraffe is back! I have been off the park ranger's radar for some time given some personal life crises and now it is time for this sensitive creature to come out of hiding. Not that it is easy to try and hide given my immense stature, but its amazing how you can lurk in the recesses of an aircaft hanger. At the moment I fear more the missed opportunities than the vulnerability of exposure. So what have I been up to?  For a start trying to fit part time PhD research around a full time job in criminal justice. I am exploring the relationship between faith and Youth Offending, whether faith is a protective factor in young people's attitude to offending and examining how young people make sense of their faith and its connection with their offending behviours.  I have also started attending an Anglican church, fulfilling the inner nudge towards sacramentalism. It's not such a far cry from my charismatic roots.  I love the Eucharist in the round and the quirky nature of the community I am tentatively becoming a part of, including meeting weekly with a group practisiing comtemplative prayer.

I must apologise to family and friends for my absence and isolation, but by nature I tend to draw back into myself when things are tough or I am struggling. I am sorry for my silence.

So now to the future?  To continue to work towards obtaining my doctorate and to look at setting up a business to fulfill my social entrepreneurial tendencies. I want to eliminate my debts and save for a rainy day. Even verdant savannahs have rainy seasons. This is a new season and I hope to make the most it, although tempered by loss. I need to focus and head towards my goals, which I will share with you as my journey continues. 

SPIRITUAL FORMATION

Richard Foster reminded the delegates at the Renovare conference in Wincheser last weekend that there is a real difference between trying and being in training, in relation to spiritual formation and discipleship. This is about intentionality and Grace as opposed to  just  will power. There is a goal in mind and we are empowered to embrace the small spiritual disciplines that will enable us to be progressively formed, conformed and transformed into the image of Christ.

We are encouraged to train like an athlete in the spiritual disciplines that we need and we have Christ as our ever-present Teacher to guide us into what we need for our own growth.

Spiritual Growth happens best in small groups, such as in  the Spiritual Formation Groups recommended by Renovare that enable us to explore the six streams or movements in history of the Church and that reflect or flow out of the life of Jesus. This gives us a balanced vision of Christian faith and practice that we are to emulate. From the life of Jesus there emerges six distinct areas: devotion to God, virtue in thought. word and action, empowerment by the Spirit, compassion toward all people, prclmation of the good news of the gospel , harmony between faith and work. These are the contemplative movement, the holiness movement, the charismatic movement, the social justice movement, the evangelical movement, and the incarnational movement. We can learn how to pracitce the disciplines connected to these streams through the various examples throughout the history of the Church.  We can learn from the likes of St Benedict, St Francis, St Ignatious of Loyola to name but a few. The priority is just to begin with the little discipline, with the encouragement and acccoutability we draw from the members of our Spiritual Formation group. 

Welcome Back

This blog has been paralysed for some time and its time to get back to a more committed and consistent delivery of posts. Do I still have anything worthwhile to say? I read, reflect and write and so believe that i can compose something of interest.

I saw a tv programme on super vets where they operated on a giraffe with problems walking because of over grown hooves, causing it to hobble. This is a perennial problem with giraffes in captivity and its a sensitive operation because these gentle creatures don't do well when coming around from an anaesthetic. If they were in the wild they would be able to keep there hooves worn down because of the freedom of space they could  gallop around in. Giraffes in captivity don't have such opportunities. I guess i have been feeling restricted in a similar fashion and it is now time to re-engage and see where this takes me. I long for verdant savannahs.

The Challenge of the Environment

I watched a television nature documentary titled Alaska’s Great Sea Lion Mystery. Biologist and diver Shane Moore investigated  the dramatic decline in Alaska’s sea lion population. He asks the question: what is killing the sea lions? It was felt that it was a result of over fishing by Pollock fisheries, although this was shown to be too simplistic an answer. Nature is an enormous, intricate web of life. In viewing this complex web we continuously ask ourselves: how are things connected? A carefully balanced eco-system has been disturbed by human beings through whaling, oil pollution, and over fishing. There is also the contested views about climate change and its far reaching effects. A decline in certain animal populations has a knock on effect on other animal species. The Herring are vital to the survival of many creatures in Alaska including eagles, whales, sea lions, sea gulls, salmon, pollock and even human beings. Moore contends that changes in fish numbers can explain sea-lion decline.

The programme showed that the fate of man and animals are inextricably linked. Can we take from the ocean without destroying it, finding a more sustainable balance?  Scientists are researching these very questions, looking at how the ocean system actually works. It is this understanding which will contribute towards an answer to this question. It helped me to think about the challenge of the environment and my part in this intricate web of life.

Is it Mad to Vote?

You have got to admire a political candidate who stands for something, even if he drives a campaign vehicle with inflatable banana’s sticking up from the roof and a slogan “going banana’s for your vote” It’s catchy and a definite vote winner! Why does my Raving Looney Party candidate feel he should stand for election? What does he have to offer? It is just about poking fun at the political machinations of our free democracy, or a subversive attempt to make us question the whole basis of our democratic system. Anyone can stand for a office with some dignity given the choice of candidates to date. I have never chuckled so much to myself reading a party political manifesto than when this party leaflet was dropped through my door. Here’s a taster

Treasury: Rich People should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.

We will issue a 99 pence coin to save on change.

Education: Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class.

It has made me think about what is the point of politics? Not bothering to vote is still making a stand for the status quo, not wanting to question the current political regime, not being willing to look at the issues and to  make a commitment to the polis within which we live. The stakes are high, the consequences significant. Voting is one way that I can contribute towards making a difference in the world.

Humour is a powerful tool to challenge received wisdom and to make someone look at their particular perspective from another viewpoint. Look at the boy who cried wolf party political broadcast, which used humour to get us to see things differently.

What are the issues that will actually mean something for the future of our country? How do these effect us?

I’m not advocating any particular political party but I hope that more people will vote. I merely admire the raving Looney party for the questions they pose, but have no intention of voting for them. I will take my wife’s advice and state that my political affiliation is private, but hope to see you at the polling station. People need to read the manifesto’s, question the candidates when they turn up on our doorstep, pray and think about the issues and how this relates to Christian discipleship. As Jim Wallis states in his recent book God’s Politics, how does our politics  effect the poor, how we treat our neighbour? This is something we really have to think through if we want to be committed disciples. Don’t forget to vote on May 5 !

John 13: “Who said my Feet Smell?”

Let’s face it , feet are smelly and dirty, especially after a long walk in sandals in a hot and dusty climate, so I’d rather you washed your own.  Come to think of it, why don’t you take a shower, you’re looking  a bit sweaty and its starting to ‘hum’ in this room!

My guess is that any  guest would protest at this point in the proceedings and if I’m honest  I wouldn’t blame them. What is Jesus up to, cleaning people’s feet? Is this the custom in the local culture or did he have a foot fetish? We get a hint of an answer in an earlier passage in Luke 7: 44-46. It appears it was the custom to at least provide a bowel of water and a towel for guests to clean their feet, but Jesus imbues it with greater significance. 

The foot washing is a drama of Jesus’ act of sacrifice on the cross  on our behalf. .

The example that Jesus gives the disciples in washing their feet is the pattern of sacrificial and costly service. In our loving service to others we witness

to them  the pattern of Jesus’ in making us  “clean” through his costly love.

It’s a prophetic act that signifies the Master’s identification with our humanity and how that love makes us more human. A kenotic act of self-abasement, where the ego is held in abeyance.  The story involves both rejection, and betrayal exemplified in the lives of Peter and Judas and fidelity in the guise of the “beloved disciple”  We are invited to respond and we can identify our own pattern of behaviour in relation to our following in the way of Jesus. 

I believe that foot-washing is sacramental and through it’s re-enactment this Maundy Thursday, the presence of Jesus is known.

Will I let Jesus wash my feet and cleanse me? Will I pattern my lifer after his own? 

Emerging Church /Avant Church –What is it?

Here’s an entree to get peoples taste buds activated! I was wondering how we  would describe the emerging church. I’m in good company given the Tall Skinny Kiwi’s articles this week. Is it a conversation, stream, movement, mood, condition, brand? I have seen all of these cited by various emerging gurus but I am still not convinced. I will no doubt be accused of wanting to foist my own label on something that is free-flowing and organic. Nevertheless, just what does the label mean?

It’s Only A Label !

I went for a pre-operative consultation last week at the hospital and was asked by the nurse how I would define my religion ? I had to think about this but eventually plumped for the epithet “Christian” I wanted to say follower of Jesus and then go on to explain this more fully. I felt embarrassed by the designation Christian because it has become an offensive term in some quarters and its meaning has so often been  diluted. The term “evangelical” similarly has many negative connotations, such as fundamentalist, bigoted, dogmatic, whacko . Who do we allow to define us? Which voices do we listen to?  How come words are vested with such  power to bless or curse ? 

I don’t like labels as they can become like prison cells- very confining! . If you had asked me ten years ago how I would  describe my faith I would have said I was a charismatic evangelical Christian , because that was the appellation given to my church tradition. Now I do not want to be tied down by such definitions, restricted by belonging   to a particular denomination .”Oh you belong to the Vineyard don’t you and they believe such and such” No, thank-you, that does not define the totality of my life and faith . In no way am I being dismissive of the particular tribe I belong to, but I value insight and practice from other  traditions.

But surely it’s only a descriptive term that helps people to communicate, to get a handle on things.? There in lies the problem,  people want to fit me into a particular mould and I want to break out of this . I don’t want to be branded like specific commodities. I range over a broader canvas and my theological thinking gives me wings to fly .On the other hand, I cannot escape my heritage, I’m thankful for it , I was brought up in a certain family but I refuse to be limited by it. I do still have to honour my particular roots, but  I have choices. . People’s stickers will not stick any longer, because I am beginning to change and I am feeling more confident about challenging these labels  You continuously get asked where do you fit in, and I’m content not to have a fixed  answer .

A label can provide a lot of comfort and re-assurance, build confidence, offer certainty. Labels are also social constructs, coming from a particular perspective, and culture, so are subject to differing interpretations. It is the freighting of these labels with prejudicial and prescriptive meanings  that I object to. I like the term post-evangelical, it has a certain affinity for me but that in itself engenders negative criticism – liberal, relativist, unbeliever.  I deplore this! Words need to be reclaimed and de-toxed  of any negative connotations. Labels come attached to a certain amount of baggage and it is this baggage which I am most uncomfortable with. But none of us comes from a neutral position and we have to be honest about what we bring to our faith and life commitment.

I aspire to be a faithful disciple of Jesus, come from an evangelical, charismatic tradition and attend a Vineyard Church. I am a companion in the Society of St Francis , a devoted husband to Liz and a soon to be registered Social worker. That is a description,  not a label that attempts to tie me down, to pigeon- hole me. It is a provisional statement open to change. and subject to further candour.

LENTEN DAYS

I attended an Ash Wednesday High Mass at an Anglican Church in London, near to my favourite book shop. It was two hours of “smells and bells”, choral anitphons, pentitential readings and prayers. I loved it ! The liturgical stucture helped me focus on what the start of the Lenten season means – repentence, recognsing my weakness and frailty and centred on the cross and my relationship to Jesus and his Church. He demands my honesty and integrity. I cringed at the comment of two particpants as they left the service “ ..that was just too catholic!” I felt they had missed the point of this service. Through the symbolism of the liturgy, the exterior practices are echoed In the interior call and response to penitence, to humble myself before my God.

I have taken up a Lenten discipline of working through a Lent book written by a Francisan hermit who has had a profound impact on my life- the Way of Love by Brother Ramon SSF. I have longed to follow the liturgical year with more earnestness and focus and this is my small contribution towards that end. This involves giving up some of my time to spend meditating on the assigned scriptures and short reading/ response. I also feel challenged to look at some other spirtual practices, like fasting and alms giving. It is the corporate disciplines of prayer and worship that shape our personal devotions.

I was challenged by the sermon at this service. The vicar went on to say that the core structure of our faith is not individudalistic ( Me and my God) but centred on our life lived in the community of faith. Our faith is simultaneously both communal and personal, but the communal aspect takes precedence, when we look at the scriptures and our Jewish roots We are baptised into the family of God and are to be discipled through our involvement in Christ’s body. This tends to fly in the face of my own introverted nature, that can easily dispense with the closer connection to the family of believers in terms of my local church. I feel connected to the wider fabric of Christ’s body but not always feeling so comfortable, at home in my own local church. When I follow the Daily prayer, it feels more comfortable than having to be honest and accountable to people in my congregation, but that is what being part of the body is all about. It invovles honesty and vulnerability and I feel this Lenten challenge very deeply. I do not want to be vulnerable, to admit my weaknesses, that I need a shoulder to cry on, that I need support. God grant me the courage to take off the mask and be true to myself with you and with trusted others.

Crime and Crucifixion

These are my two stock in trades and I for one have to make some connections between these two seemingly disparate worlds. I work in the criminal justice system and am a follower of Jesus.

The horror and lament of a family man, a teacher stabbed in his own home as he disturbs a criminal attempting to burgle his home in leafy Chiswick.. Bleary eyed he descends the stairs and is stabbed in an unprovoked attack and left for dead as the burglar makes his escape. This is crime at its most detestable and horrific. What causes a burglar to take such a malevolent step? He does not appear to display any remorse. Is he strung out on drugs and trying to get some money for his next fix- highly probably and carries a knife for his own protection.

Is the knife a cool accessory to defend him from being a victim, from being robbed of his status trainers with the Nike tick? This is the world of fashion and the gun is for me to pose as a gangster with respect, because I am a big man who fears being “jacked”. Fashion and fear are factors related to the causes of crime. I take what I haven’t got because the advertisements turn my wants into needs and feed on my greed and envy. I have no scruples about taking what I desire, as I see nothing wrong, only the strong survive and the rest can take a dive. There is no such thing as respect, it has to be earned by displays of valor and people have to validate my identity. I had it hard and had to earn this respect on the receiving end of my own father’s fists.

Crime has its reasons and they are more than just personal, they are systemic and they must involve the church. Justice is more than just punishing the offender, its about rehabilitating him and ensuring he is restored to full relationship within the wider community. It’s about recognising the pain of the victim and their anger and fear and bringing some resolution. Christ was branded a criminal and was punished as such. He was framed, wrongly accused and convicted by a kangaroo court and sentenced to crucifixion.